Change is Life

Finding Meaning in Life’s Suffering

Posted on May 30, 2026 by confusedsoul27

Living life is like undergoing continued suffering every day, sometimes every hour. So why do most of us just endure it.. and even fight valiantly for those 2-3 bright spots of joy / achievement? Is it worth the pain / suffering and struggle each day? How do you rationalize the effort vs. reward graph?

My personal opinion is the suffering is real; it comes in so many different ways. Some are visibly apparent (sickness, old age, physical disabilities, etc..) but most of them are mentally pervasive and continue to evolve very often – sometimes even daily (strained relationships with spouse, work pressures, day 2 day hamster wheel running, societal expectations, family expectations.. etc.). So why fight to live under such suffering.. why doesn’t the human give up?

The single most important reason I am enduring is because of my child (as Jordan Peterson puts it in his book.. we endure suffering not to seek happiness but to develop character to do more impactful things in our life) Career has been rewarding but it’s definitely not the driving force, family and relationships are important but they are not the anchors. That makes me wonder… are most humans enduring the rigors of suffering that life is due to their kids? I can’t be the only one to feel this way. Interesting thought to say the least.

Going to write every day; maybe will come across something meaningful if i just continue writing.

Empty Musings

What good is a job? career?9-5?

Posted on December 13, 2023December 13, 2023 by confusedsoul27

“You got to focus on school so you can get good grades and get into a good college and then you can get a good job and have a settled and comfortable life!”

If i had a penny for each time i heard that ; coming from an Asian upbringing; realistically i could be pretty settled right now :). It is good to be goal oriented; please do not get me wrong – School is important, it teaches us lots of life skills and ignites within us (atleast some of us) passion for areas that we can truly drive the most innovation and “make a difference” beyond lining our pockets with tons of processed cotton / linen (money).

So let’s get to the heart of the problem (or sort of) that i have with the current set up. We put our kids through significant competition in school, get them ready to face the plethora of standardized tests to get into college and other professional disciplines coming out of which most of the young adults (age 22) are trying to get any job so that they can pay off school debt and operate as “adults” which requires them to pay rent / groceries / car ,etc. So here is my fundamental question – how are the majority of young adults going to do anything meaningful or disruptive if the first thing after nearly 18 years of school / college they have to take up a pretty uninteresting / boring (can i say that :)).. 9-5 corporate job just to make rent + ends meet. I know there are some outstanding young people who inspite of being put into the daily hamster cycle of a grind.. take their head out of the sand and do something unthinkable and innovative… but are we leaving the remaining 90+% of young highly trained talented individuals from doing meaningful progress to our society.. but pushing them to a 9-5 mould that was conceived for factory workers within Ford’s industrial revolution to assemble cars. Is it truly the right thing for young adults to be doing after 18+ years of education? Can we do something different? and drive more meaning to work.. than just a paycheck filler and have to live life weekend to weekend (doing things that add very little lasting joy.. but keep us at that boring job.. because it’s the socially accepted way of blowing off steam!)

Sorry for the ramble.. but feels like there should be a better way than working a 9-5 for 40 years after 18years of supposedly cutting edge education!

I am going to put some thought into a model more suited to generate more value for the majority of our next generation.. vs. just for a few brilliant ones!

Relationships

Marriage – obsolete or still an institution?

Posted on October 1, 2023December 13, 2023 by confusedsoul27

Our entire life is filled with relationships. As our society has evolved, we have given names to each of them. Additionally, we have gone one step ahead and determined which ones are “good” and which ones are “suspect” or “bad”.

Good relationships are the ones that provide meaning and happiness through the interactions. In fact, they are the very reason we get up day in / day out, enable us to put on our working man / woman pants and head out bravely into the world – because we know we can fall back on a number of close and good relationships when times are not that great – these could be parental relationships, sibling, spouse, best friend / s, professional, activity based.. etc. Obviously all of these relationships are on a continuum when you measure them by their closeness or dependence Bad relationships are toxic , sap our energy, take our eye of the ball and mostly force us to question who we are and destroy our self worth – ex-es, professional relationships, competitors, etc.

The relationship that truly is interesting is that of a spouse / partner. The society has put so much pressure on it. “the better half”, “solumate”, “person you can love forever”, “match made in heaven” etc These extraordinary expectations from this relationship has put the institution of marriage under serious siege. Most western countries continue to have a divorce rate north of 50% and consider marriage to be no more than an official document making you eligible for tax savings. The history of marriage has always been to establish the smallest unit of family – initially to facilitate governance of a fairly nomadic species by the kings, conquerors and religious overlords.. but the fact of the matter is marriage establishes the unit that addresses 2 of the most important parts of any human’s life – #1. architects a relationship to eliminate loneliness (if executed correctly), #2. provides you an opportunity to experience the happiness of raising a child.

There has never been any doubt from a data perspective.. that loneliness has pervaded the fabric of our current western society leading to high rates of suicide, rapidly decreasing mental health (leading to potential unthinkable actions) and loss of productivity. Additionally, the last decade has registered the lowest birth rate in our last 1000 years. – Is marriage as an institution really that important?

Empty Musings

Am I just passing time?

Posted on September 20, 2023 by confusedsoul27

Time has always been a concept that’s difficult for me to really understand. Being relatively successful in the work i do; my daily schedule is managed heavily as it provides sanity to a packed and overly subscribed day – be it work, family or time with kids; if time is not managed proactively, several tactical tasks start slipping and your already stressful life starts to get unmanageable.

But a well managed schedule does not really indicate a fruitful and impactful usage of limited time each one of us has in this life. When you sit down and think; away from your overly managed daily schedule and really think of the impact your existence has had on your partner, family, offspring, community, state, nation and human kind; more often than not.. the impact is **feels terrible to say it**.. quite inconsequential.

So the question remains; are we just passing time.. until the inevitable end. How should we manage our time away from the daily madness and truly think of our ability to make an impact – is it social service? is it inventing something that will change the direction of human kind (a.k.a nikola tesla)? is it earning billions and using that for philanthropy (a.k.a Gates). All of this seems to be an herculean task to overcome and how do you really get out the rut of just getting through the day to “live” your life over the weekend?

Does it feel like I am passing time because i am rudderless and without purpose? More things to ponder.

Relationships

Expectations – The death knell of most relationships

Posted on February 25, 2019 by confusedsoul27

The root of most unhappiness is expectations. Don’t get me wrong, i don’t believe it’s a bad thing to have hope / expectations but it’s interesting to note that when these feelings are in play; most people deviate from all the great stuff they were doing until that time…

I am unsure if the relationship is causal or it’s correlated but disappointment and unhappiness usually is tied with something we really want but have never openly acknowledged. So why is it that way? Every relationship that we cherish is because the other person has delivered on the expectations until the time they don’t. Let’s name a few –

Friends, Girlfriends / Boyfriends, Teacher / Mentor – student, colleagues, Boss, Companies we work for, etc. Each of these relationships that we hold dear and depend on during our day 2 day lives.. are holding by a small thread.

How can we control these expectations. The one thing, that’s worked for me over the last 3-5 years is to keep the coterie of folks who i really have expectations really small (no more than 4-5 people) and express those feelings clearly and deal with it head on if that’s not aligned with the other person (in all of the situations above). Additionally, i try not to take their deficiency in meeting the expectations personally. I try to put myself in their shoes.. and for now it seems to be working.. I have not been in a position of being devastated.. or hurt because one of the above mentioned relationship folks failed to deliver.. It is a constant balance but i don’t know how else to deal with it.. other than being an hermit / recluse.

Every life lived is wonderful and it’s the people / relationships in that life that makes it wonderful… but is there any way to cut out expectations / ego from it to avoid the pain / disappointment or is it just two sides of the same coin?

pursuit of happiness

The Journey Begins

Posted on February 19, 2019December 13, 2023 by confusedsoul27

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

post

pursuit of happiness

What’s the point?

Posted on February 18, 2019February 22, 2019 by confusedsoul27

I am an relatively successful and well read person. I have constantly tried to mould myself to the world’s perspective of a life well lived or “happiness”. As i have had more life experiences, i continue to question the facade of a happy life that’s been taught to us through every single interaction we have within our society….

I feel the society charts our life’s milestone and the blueprint is 90% same for everyone. From the time we become coherent the society and by extension the world has everything laid out for us –

Here is what the world expects us to do….

I have a feeling a lot of us.. get lost in some of the steps and either over index on one step and choose that to be the destination. I have a constant nagging feeling as to what end do we follow this path.. Where does peace of mind actually play in? What is true happiness? A new iPhone? a new House? Your kid won a competition at school or is taking AP classes? What is true happiness? and what’s the point?

Through this blog, i plan to explore some of those feelings and thoughts. I will deviate and choose random things to write about.. but isn’t that what a blog should do.

Rocky roads ahead.